I haven't written anything for this blog for quite some time. School and being lazy have occupied a lot of my time, and I just haven't felt motivated to write much. I needed something to jolt me back into my writing groove, and boy oh boy did Warner Bros. ever come through in the clutch. Recently, Warner Bros. Pictures announced plans to bring Joss Whedon's beloved heroine, Buffy Anne Summers, Vampire Slayer Extraordinaire, back to the big screen. Details can be found in the above link, though they are few at this point, but here's the important stuff, after the break:
- Joss Whedon will not be writing, directing, or in any way involved
- So far, none of the names attached have anything to do with the TV series
- It will be scripted by a newcomer (Whit Anderson) with three minor acting credits to her name on IMDB
- None of the other characters from the TV show (i.e. Xander, Willow, etc.) will be in the movie, as these are still owned by 20th Century Fox
- Producer Charles Roven says, "There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character's return to the big screen"
- It is one of the dumbest and most baffling decisions of the year
Now that last one isn't exactly mentioned in the press release that Warner Bros. sent out, but if you look carefully enough, you can find it screaming out of the margins. Everything about this idea is just completely ill-conceived and illogical. So, in order to help me burst free from the fetters of laziness, I am going to break down exactly how and why this is utterly stupid.
1. The Buffy Fan Base.
""There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character's return to the big screen." If this is the logic that Warner Bros. is operating under, then they need to slap themselves silly for a while until they're ready to start using Earth logic. First, the character's previous adventure in the big screen was notoriously awful, and not a single member of the devoted fan base was brought in from that turgid piece of crap film.
Of course, maybe that's not what producer Charles Roven meant. Maybe he was saying that Buffy fans are "eagerly awaiting" having more Buffy in any form, since it's been all of 7 years since the TV show wrapped up, and that is such a long time to wait (this is sarcasm, in case my rusty writing isn't making that clear). Except that, no, this is equally idiotic for a couple reasons. One, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has been continuing in the form of a series of comics, written by the same folks who worked on the show. Two, this movie is not going to be the Buffy that everyone knows and loves, because none of the characters except for Buffy herself are in it. Maybe it is true (and I'd even dispute this) that fans would be "eagerly awaiting" a true film adaptation of the TV series, but that's not what this is.
In any case, while it's true that the TV show has garnered a very loyal cult following over the years, the actual size of this fan base is pretty minuscule (especially when you compare it to other vampire-related works that have recently made it to movie form). This means that Warner Bros. can't possibly be relying on an eager fan base to make this movie a success - especially a fan base that has little reason to want to see the movie (more on that later). This brings us to the next problem:
2. This Will Have No Widespread Appeal
If Warner Bros. can't rely on Buffy fans to carry the movie, then they must be thinking that there will be a larger audience out there for this movie. Here, though, they're going to run in to the classic problem with getting people to take Buffy seriously and watch it: the name. The 1992 film was made on a budget of $7 million to be a campy satire with a cheesy name - I'm guessing this is not what the filmmakers are picturing for this reboot given that they cite Nolan's Batman movies as sources of inspiration. So, fine, they'll change the name to something less campy and off-putting. Except that then it becomes just another vampire movie, and one that's still hard to sell to audiences because they aren't going to know anything about it and it will look like a cheap attempt to cash in on Twilight's success. And if you're going to change the name, then why even bothering making this a Buffy reboot in the first place, instead of a new property?
3. Why, Dear God, Why?
It's been only seven years since Buffy went off the air. Now, it's not exactly news that Hollywood likes to play things safe and squeeze as much life out of established properties as they can, but bringing Buffy back so soon is just exasperating. Whedon himself has since weighed-in on the decision, but it doesn't take a man of his wit or intelligence to realize this shouldn't be happening. I don't mean to seem hyperbolic or unnecessarily worked up, but it just strikes me as very unusual that an idea like this could get any kind of backing. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a fantastic show, an example of what a group of creative minds could do to push the medium. It was by no means perfect, and many people find the entire Whedon style annoying, but for the show's fans, it was a real treasure.
Not a single person who liked Buffy reacted to this news with joy. Groaning and anger were widespread, but I don't think there was a lick of excitement. Maybe if anyone who had been a part of making the TV show was included in the process, this would have been different. The point is, even if this reboot ends up having the spirit and humor of the Buffy that fans love, those fans still won't be happy, because it's not going to be the same - even if you got everyone involved in the show together to make this film, I doubt it would be the same.
Warner Bros. seems determined to make use out of all the various properties they own, after years of letting DC Comics, Looney Tunes, and other franchises essentially go to waste. And, hey, all power to them - I'm actually kind of glad that we're going to get a Green Lantern movie, and hopefully a Superman movie that doesn't blow hard. But please, for the love of God, just leave Buffy alone for now.
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